Discontent.

One of the things I've slowly begun to realize over the last few months is that the way I think about life can change a lot in a short amount of time. While I currently still don't know for sure what I want to do with my life (because I'm too analytical to just stick with one thing), I think I have come to realize how little importance money is to me.

It has been a long process to get to that point.

Having been "on my own" since last January, I've know how little money I can actually live on. It blows my mind (shout out to Dave Ramsey). I used to be so ungrateful when my parents were still providing for me, but I've really gotten some perspective to see how blessed I really am.

Anyway, it is a challenge for me to constantly remind myself that I really don't want the big-time corporate job that pays six-figures all-the-while requiring you to work 80 hours a week. I did the same thing while I was an undergrad - I would default to thinking I should just go into insurance because the money is good. I am not sure why that is, except that I always got subtle messages that money was really important growing up. Sometimes the influence of others is hard to shake off.

Another thing that I tend to really struggle with is stuff. I love stuff. If left to my own, I would obsess about wanting a new TV, car, or whatever is the next cool thing - in every color. After moving several times in the last year or so, I feel like I've gotten rid of so much stuff, but I still loath the idea of moving out of my house because I don't want to have to deal with it all.

This is a uniquely American problem. I pulled out my spring clothes the other day and had forgotten just how many pairs of shorts I have. Ridiculous.

It makes me wonder how much money I would have saved myself if I had the state of mind when I got to Athens in 2004 that I have now.

I think I've written about this before, but it is frustrating that I never feel like I can just put on cruise control with my life. Looking back, the times I tried oftentimes ended with me making a series of bad decisions - and wondering how I got so far from my original intentions.

I want to live a life of discontent with the ordinary.

Discontent for cruise control.

I want to constantly allow the Lord to speak truth into my life so that I can become the man of God he wants me to be.

The nature of things

I don't know what it is about being out in nature that makes me feel so much more relaxed. Oftentimes it is very easy to get distracted by the hustle and bustle of life. I find it ironic that every semester of school I can't wait to get into a routine, so that I get be the most efficient in getting work and other "have-to" type things done. But I love getting outside because I am able to take things in - maybe it just gives me perspective. 

For spring break, I hiked on the AT in Georgia and North Carolina for three days. I saw the best views of the Appalachian Mountains as I climbed up Standing Indian Mountain and Albert Mountain.

Looking down into the valleys and concentric mountain ranges that pan across the overlook, I was reminded how small I am and how big even a tiny portion of the earth is.

After the hike I watched a couple of episodes of Planet Earth and once again was in awe of this crazy place we live in. The landscapes, animals, and ecosystems are all so intricately linked together, I don't now how there couldn't be a Creator of it all. 

Now, I'm no crazy tree hugger, but I really think everyone should spend some time outdoors. People would just be happier.

[side note: it's hard to focus when "baby got back" is playing in jittery joe's...]

I think the only reason I have been able enjoy running is that I started trail running a couple of years ago. Along the same lines, running in the woods without anyone else around is incredibly relaxing for me. Despite the historical significance of all the memorials and buildings surrounding the National Mall in DC, I never enjoyed running as much there as I do at the Botanical Gardens or IM fields here in Athens. Turning the corner on the blue trail where the trail opens up and parallels the Oconee River always gives me a second wind.

Unfortunately, my relaxing week has come to an end and it's back to the books for another two months...